The Cost of an FWB

Feb 12

5 min read

197

(Future with Boyfriend)

With a heavy heart, I regret to inform you that this article is in fact NOT a budget breakdown of a ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement. To rid you of shame, I too admit that I’m an avid enthusiast of scandalous news, but this FWB is about something even more commitment-heavy & wallet-draining– the cost of locking down your ‘Future With Boyfriend’ (FWB).

Just a few doors down from situationships, talking stages, is the serious stage that comes with more than just emotional baggage, & it’s got receipts.

Spoiler—it’s not cheap.

Let’s get down to the crux of things. I’m Aurene, & I’m 7 years ‘locked in’ with my own FWB. A future that considers financial planning not just for yourself, but with another human being is tough, pricey, & ultimately uncertain. Have you truly considered how much more you have to budget for?

When I started my own FWB journey 7 years ago, I didn’t realise how quickly little expenses & big milestones would add up. Here's a breakdown by tiers:

Tier B: Celebrations & Everyday Costs

Starting ‘small’, we have capitalist celebrations like anniversaries, birthdays, & Valentine’s. (Happy Valentine’s Day guys!) Honestly, I’m all for saving up for a ‘once in a while’ celebration with your significant other.

Laughably, a pro tip is to set aside money in your emergency fund for ‘apology flowers/gifts’.

Going down the list, we reach my personal hater section of miscellaneous days like ‘National Boyfriend Day, National Girlfriend Day, 520, etc.’. My mantra– if it’s out of FOMO, save your money.

But planning beyond the near future is where things get real– joint finances, housing, weddings, renovations, travel, &... kids?

Tier A: The BIG Ticket Stuff

Housing Costs

The average Singaporean dream often starts with a house.

A 2025 Straits Times article shared that public housing resale prices rose 9.6% in 2024, almost double the 4.9% rise in resale prices in 2023 [1]. This shift has driven more couples toward Build-to-Order (BTO) flats.

Many local Reddit forums are flooded with debates on the affordability of the common day BTO

While prices vary based on room type & location, it’s widely echoed that prices are rising, & building times remain long.

The BTO system in Singapore is a unique one. Your queue number dictates whether you’ll get the home of your dreams, or land something you’re just ‘okay with’. It’s often likened to winning the lottery, & one should hope, pray, & beg that Lady Luck is on their side.

With horror stories of couples failing to secure a BTO after 10 attempts (10 x $10/ballot = $100 on balloting), along with the time it takes for your future home to be built, it’s no wonder that some are kiasu & ballot every chance they get.

But say everything goes swimmingly, & you land a 4-Room BTO in a prime location on the 17th floor, you & your partner are now roughly $600,000 in debt. Ready to fork out another 5 digits for renovation? Unsure?

Then slow down. Rushing this decision can be a costly mistake.

If the conversation around finances is already starting fights, I’m warning you– forfeiting your BTO is expensive! It begins with your option fee ($1000 - $2000) based on your room type, & if you back out later, you'll incur an additional 5% of the purchase price plus legal fees.

So if your 4-room flat costs $600,000, that’s $30,000 + a $2000 option fee = at least a $32,000 mistake.

Take your time & research. Then, familiarise yourself with past & current HDB sales launch prices. [2]

Wedding Costs

Did you know the average wedding in Singapore costs $30,000-$50,000? [3] If you’re eyeing a grand ballroom at Marina Bay Sands or Capella Singapore, that number can soar past $100,000 faster than you can say “I do” [4]

Wedding banquets are the real wallet crusher, with a single table of 10 costing anywhere between $600 - $7,800 [4]. But the statistical average isn’t a goal to hit. The real trick is figuring out what matters to you.

Checklist for lost couples

So what do you really need in a wedding? If a lavish hotel wedding means postponing your house or honeymoon plans, then consider alternatives. Think restaurant receptions, intimate ceremonies, or even a $42 ROM session followed by a mini celebration.

At the end of the day, a wedding is a one-day event. Marriage? A lifelong commitment.

Honeymoon Costs

Double whammy. Honeymoons often follow weddings—doubling the financial impact just when you think your bank account is recovering.

Where’s the dream destination?

Budget-friendly honeymoon options like Bali, Vietnam, & Thailand exist, but many dream of Japan, Europe, or the Maldives.

If you’re not careful, you could blow another 5 digits in a single week, depending on peak travel seasons, inflated ‘honeymoon suites’, & the “just spend a little more for the special occasion” mindset.

Yes, honeymoons are a once-in-a-lifetime thing, but it doesn’t have to be extravagant. You can always travel later when your finances are stable— romance has no expiry date!

Tier S: To Infinity & Beyond

Cost of Raising a Child

Wait…I thought this article was about Future with Boyfriend, not Future with Baby! 😐

But for many Singaporean couples, the next step after marriage is baby-making season, & that’s where the real financial bomb drops.

A DollarsAndSense article estimates the cost of raising a child in Singapore from birth to 18 years old at $191,000— & that’s conservative [5]. Add enrichment classes, private tuition, & later, university education, that number might send you into a coma!

Cost Breakdown of Raising a Child in Singapore; derived from DollarsAndSense [5]

Unless you have a trust fund lying around, having a kid is a lifetime financial subscription— no refunds, no take-backs.

So What Now…?

Overwhelming? Same.

This influx of overwhelming information flipped a switch in me. I suddenly went from “having decent savings” to feeling broke. By 23, I’d worked all sorts of odd jobs– factory worker, sweatshop worker, IKEA busser, Sake saleswoman, FairPrice retail assistant, & freelance designer. I put most of my money into fixed deposits to make my money work for me.

Yet, I was lagging behind.

I plunged myself into extreme saving: working multiple jobs, eating $3.50 caifan daily, & meal prepping my lunch down to $2.80. My bank account rose, but so did my stress. Even necessary expenses like transport & food felt like splurging.

10 months in– I cracked & bawled in the middle of a Netball game.

Now, though I still struggle with balance, I remind myself: it’s not worth the stress. My point isn’t to fear-monger but to say “Take it easy”. These are huge decisions, & the best part is that you don’t have to shoulder this alone. Don’t do things out of peer pressure, or sayings about your ‘biological clock running out’. At the same time, don’t spiral so deep into these calculations that it takes all the fun & love out of your FWB.

My advice? Let the information sink in. Start money conversations early because nothing kills romance faster than financial stress. Having a realistic grasp of these costs helps you prep & avoid the big shock when bills start pouring in.

What’s an FWB really? – Friends with benefits (benefits being– love, support & extra money so you can go through this journey together, not alone)

Love, love, love, love,

Your FWB (friend with boyfriend),

Aurene

Editorial Note:

Opinions, analyses, reviews or recommendations expressed in this article are those of the author alone, & have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by any third party.